10 Day Challenge - Day 4

7 WANTS

1. For all of my nieces and nephews to grow up happy, healthy, and not end up with BPD or Depression

2. 10 million dollars

3. A full time job with benefits

4. Good quality equipment for filming (new cameras, lights, microphones, etc.)

5. A vacation to Alaska on a cruise ship to see the Aurora Borealis

6. A bowl of tomato soup (mmm...maybe for dinner tonight...)

7. Getting a book published (which is possible I just have to frickin finish one and send it off)

The Nightmare House aka WTF?

I was going through my old script files looking for a short film I wrote a few years ago and came across a file called The Nightmare House. It's a synopsis for a short film and I think my brain took acid without me knowing about it because it sounds kinda messed up.

Tagline: You may leave now or stay for the night. Choose carefully.

Premise: A weird combination of Beauty and the Beast, The Bachelor, Blue Beard, and frame plot bits of Arabian Nights with a dash of Hunchback of Notre Dame and Cinderella thrown in.

Seriously? That's a messed up combination of stories right there.

It's actually a very interesting idea, but I labeled it wrong because it should be in the Book Ideas folder and not in the Potential SFF Projects folder. It would work as a gothic romance, but so not as a movie.

10 Day Challenge - Day 2 & 3

Oops! I missed yesterday, so here's Day 2 and 3 together.

9 LOVES

1. My nieces and nephews

2. My family and friends

3. My two cats

4. Costumes! (especially my boyfriend: Balthazar Costume)

5. Sine Fine Films

6. All the various characters and universes I've created

7. Southern Illinois including Fort De Chartres, Fort Massac, and Fort Defiance Park

8. George Rogers Clark

9. Pumpkin Pie

8 FEARS

1. Never getting another full-time job

2. Losing a loved one

3. Heights!

4. Spiders! (and other multi-legged bugs)

5. Losing control of my BPD

6. Losing my creativity

7. Losing my sight or hearing

8. That there is nothing after death, no life, just enough of a conciousness to know there's nothing else there. (does that make sense?)

10 Day Challenge - Day 1

Day 1 - 10 Secrets

Um...I'm not sure I have 10 secrets. I'm a pretty open person so there's not much about my life that I keep secret. I should probably list 10 things that could be a secret but are not.

10 Secrets:

1. I love kids, but can't have then and even if I could I wouldn't because I know I could never bea full time mother because of my bipolar disorder

2. I really want to be an actor, but don't have the courage to try

3. I'm worried that I'll never get a full time editing job and so I am constantly wondering if it's too late to switch careers and if I do what kind of career could I go into?

4. The only reason I haven't tried to sell Destiny (part 1 which is really a whole book by itself) is cause I can't get the first freaking chapter right! Damn you Ordinary World!!

5. The closest I've ever come to being in love was with a con-artist (doh!)

6. Despite my insistance that I'm costisexual, I am in fact heterosexual, I just have weird taste in men, and most of the guys I've had a crush on in my life have turned out to be gay.

7. I don't really have an interest in dating or getting married because I really like having my free time to myself. The idea of sharing all my time with someone who isn't related to me is just weird.

8. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have grown up being thin. How would I be different?

9. I can't stand my oldest sister and I'm not sure how I can get past my feelings against her in order to keep harmony in the family (not that there is right now). There's a part of me that is still secretly afraid of her because of the number of times I saw her hit everyone else in the family when I was a teenager.

10. My most embarassing secret: I sometimes read fan fiction. *gasp*

Let's Try Something Else

So obviously I didn't keep up on the 25 Day Challenge, so I'm gonna try a different one and get back to that one later when i have more time to whittle down my views on Death and Religion (Day 2 and 3) to something less than 20 pages. This week I'll be trying the 10 Day meme suggested by my friend Kate. Thanks!

Here's the 10 Day Challenge:

10 Secrets

9 Loves

8 Fears

7 Wants

6 Places you want to go

5 Foods

4 Books

3 Films

2 Songs

1 Picture of Yourself

25 Day Challenge - Day 1

Day 1 - your favorite picture of yourself and one

interesting fact for every year you’ve been alive


Me as Finian in Finian's Rainbow, 1995

32 interesting facts? Um...that's a lot. Okay these are off the top of my head so they're in totally random order.

1. I've been alive for 3 decades

2. I watched the fall of the Berlin Wall on TV. My dad told me I was watching a moment of history that I didn't understand at the time, but do now.

3. I witnessed the transfer of the British colony of Hong Kong back to the Chinese on TV

4. I celebrated not only the beginning of a new century, but a new millineum as well.

5. My favorite historical figure is George Rogers Clark

6. My second favorite historical figures are Abraham Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth

7. I believe in ghosts.

8. I have heard a ghost, but have never seen one.

9. I once photographed a ghost in an abandoned house.

10. I love villains - but would never knowingly date one.

11. I wrote my first short story when I was twelve.

12. I wrote my first full novel when I was seventeen.

13. I've been working on the Destiny novel for 15 years and am still not done yet!

14. I've written 8 movie scripts, 91 episode scripts for 9 TV shows (not all of which were filmed), and numerous short film scripts.

15. I started a gypsy dancing troupe in high school.

16. I am the Executive Producer and founder of Sine Fine Films, a video production company.

17. The worst movie I ever made was Frumpy Gets It.

18. My favorite SFF character of all time is General Leffridge from Pandora's Box

19. My brother is a better director than me, but I'm a better producer.

20. My boyfriend is a costume.

21. Right now I'm staring at a red and gold dragon my friend Annamarie made for me.

22. My favorite color is cobalt blue.

23. My favorite type of rain is summer rain.

24. I want to see a tornado in person someday.

25. I want to live in Southern Illinois.

26. Vincennes, IN is my favorite city.

27. My first job was running the concessions counter at the Station Theater.

28. I did a lot of acting in high school, and want to act again because I miss it.

29. I have a headache because my nephew accidentally head butted me again.

30. I didn't really get along with my sister Gen while growing up, but now we're best friends.

31. I have three nephews and two neices.

32. My nephews and nieces are the most important people in my life.

25 Day Challenge: More Deep Thoughts

I'm more likely to update everyday if I have a direction to go in with my posts. My day to day life is pretty boring actually, so I like doing memey things. I found this one and decided to try it so here's the list I'll be bringing you over the next 25 days:

Day 1 - your favorite picture of yourself and one interesting fact for every year you’ve been alive


Day 2 - your thoughts on death


Day 3 - your thoughts on religion


Day 4 - your most significant childhood memory


Day 5 - discuss your feelings on the word “love” and the way it’s used in today


Day 6 - your all time favorite movie


Day 7- talk about your idol and how they influence you


Day 8 - ten things you’d like to say to ten different people, without using names


Day 9 - your favorite blog


Day 10 - a picture of your favorite relative


Day 11 - your biggest fear


Day 12 - a picture of the place where you were born


Day 13 - discuss your first kiss


Day 14 - your thoughts on drugs and alcohol


Day 15 - your celebrity crush


Day 16 - ten things that make you smile and a picture of yourself smiling


Day 17 - discuss your greatest fear and your greatest dream


Day 18 - a picture of your best friend


Day 19 - a picture of yourself and someone you don’t actually like


Day 20 - talk about where you go/went to high school


Day 21 - a picture of your first boyfriend/girlfriend


Day 22 - a time you felt like ending your own life


Day 23 - your biggest regret


Day 24 - a picture of you when you were younger


Day 25 - a picture of your all time favorite band.

Been a while...

Dude, I haven't posted here in a while and I really do want to keep up with this, you know for the two people who read it (one of which is myself). Oh crap, I gotta give Gen her phone back. BRB.

Okay, I'm back. I could delete all that but why bother. It's more fun this way. This week has been pretty productive, which is nice after almost a fun of being unfocused and moody (manic some, depressive some). I'm still writing so that's great. I've put editing my own projects on hold for the summer so I can focus on writing and that's really working out for me. I can't divide my creative energy like that and actually finish something. And now I have words for a kids book going through my head so I'm pausing again. BRB.

Okay, that's partially done -- we'll see if I finish it. Clearly I'm still having attention problems, but at least they're somewhat productive now.

Mostly I wanted to mention that I'm (finally!) in therapy - and it's going well. I've had trouble in the past finding a good therapist, one that I can connect with and trust which is obviously extremely important. I've tried therapy before but never went to more than 2 sessions with anyone (except for a great counselour I had at SIU for ten weeks). I just stop going because I don't feel like I'm getting anything out of it.

Well I have finally met a therapist that I really like and is really good at her job. I've gone for 5 weeks in a row now and have gotten so much out of each session. I really feel like it's helping me focus on what I need to figure out and learn about myself. Right now the joblessness (going on two years in january!) has me really bummed and I'm questioning my abilities and talent and I feel like I'm never going to get employed in my field again. I'm also looking at switching careers, but this is a bad time to be doing that. She's helping me sort out my feelings on that subject and hopefully I'll be able to decide what direction to go in the next month or two. I just don't feel like the editing jobs will recover to the point that they were need to for me to get hired. I'm not an animation person (my mind just doesn't think that way) and that's what people are looking for right now. I kick ass at montages, but no one really wants montages right now. Well, corporate work never really did go in for that anyway.

So yeah, just thinking -- trying not to be too upset about the job situation (which I know a lot of people are in the same place as me on that), and therapy is definately helping. so yay for that! Thank you Johnson County for having such great mental health options available for poor people!